Max Magician and the Legend of the Rings Review

Okay, you know what, there is a reason why I call myself the Movie Maniac. The meaning of this title goes two ways. First way, I see a movie that I like so much that it turns me into a maniac, in which I can't stop talking about it. Second way, I see a movie that is so bad that it drives me insane! I thought I would be fair, and post a negative review on here for once because I care about the sanity of movie goers.
When I was a young teenager, I remember walking into Wal-Mart, and digging for treasure in the $5 movie bin. Back then, these bins contained some of the worst movies ever! My mom picked up a DVD, and it's cover struck me, mainly because of the positive comments by film critics printed right on it. One comment said, and I quote, "A fantasy epic in the tradition of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings" - Science Fiction Chronicle. At first, I was like um maybe they are trying too hard. Maybe this film is good, but they are just giving it too much hype. Well, I was right about one thing, THEY WERE TRYING TOO HARD! The main reason being that this movie, is one of the worst, if not the worst fantasy movie I have ever seen in my entire life! Yes it is bad! I don't know how much money this Science Fiction Chronicle got paid to write a positive review for this movie, but man what movie were they watching? I mean it really amazes me how bad this movie is. I am going to give a brief summary of this movie, and then I am going to try to get through the rest of it by saying what I hate about it, but believe me, I am trying really hard to figure out why I am reviewing this movie, but it is too late now, No turning back.....whew. Let the negative mania begin! This is Max Magician and the Legend of the Rings.

Now, I want you to take a good look at this poster. Looks intriguing doesn't it? I mean I thought so. I really thought so. I gave it a chance, and I regret it completely! This movie was released on video in 2002, and centers around the story of a young boy who receives a magic book of spells that takes him into the generic fairy world with elves, trolls, and a horribly annoying, ridiculous, over-the-stop, stupid, STUPID villain named Lord Dagda, (the horned idiot on the top of the poster). Dagda? It sounds like a sound I make when I am coughing! But this villain, if that's what you want to call him, makes annoying sounds that I would not even use for prank calling. After every line he either laughs, or goes "AGHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I am not kidding. Oh, and by the way, notice I am not mentioning the actors' names, and you should know why because this movie sucks! I don't want to know these people for making this ridiculous garbage. Anyway, Max goes between this fairy world back to the real word trying to figure out how to stop Dagda, and that is about it. I don't want to go any further in fear that I might lost my mind!

LIKES

• I might be biased but ABSOLUTELY NO LIKES! I like that I have not watched this movie since that horrible day!

DISLIKES

• Ohh where do I begin? The acting is horrible. No one saves this movie. You can tell that these actors were not getting paid a lot, so they didn't really care. In fact, I bet the director was like, " I am going to turn the camera on, and go get some sandwiches. You guys just stay here and make the movie without me. Figure out how to act on your own!" I know this is a video release, so what can you expect, but seriously, put some effort into it please?! I have seen plants that act better than these people, and they barely move!
• The costumes are stupid, there is actually an elf in the beginning where you can CLEARLY see that he is wearing tennis shoes! TENNIS SHOES! I am sorry, I did not know that mythical creatures knew what tennis shoes were. Plus, apparently elves bleed green! Ugh! I am going to have a migraine after this review. I cannot even find still images from this movie. That is how bad this movie is!
• I completely dislike the hype that the cover gives off! LIARS! It even says that it won film festivals? How was this movie even allowed at a festival? If I saw this movie in a festival, I would tear the screen down, and have it sterilized because this garbage ruins any TV screen or movie screen that it appears on!
• I don't like that the director thought that just because you have mystical beings, and magic in a movie DOES NOT, I repeat DOES NOT mean that you are going to have a good success. It is called originality! And how dare you compare yourself to Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings! At least these franchises actually had, oh I don't know GOOD ACTING! This film is not even fit to be on the same shelf at those two franchises! In fact, I think I am going to go home, find that DVD, and put it in a dark, cold box, where it will never be able to make anyone angry again!

Now, you are probably still wondering, why review a straight to DVD movie? Well, here is why, because I personally do not like these kind of movies. I am really trying to figure why these movies are even allowed to be sold in stores. I am sure that there is a legitimate reason that has something to do with money, but it really just flabbergasts me! I am sick and tired of the business aspect of movies overshadowing the point of movies These kind of movies are a disgrace in the industry because movies are all about entertainment, and good acting. When you ruin these goals, you waste money that could spent on better movies, or heck even philanthropic causes. Yes, I know, there will always be bad movies, but this one.....THIS ONE STUPID EXCUSE FOR A MOVIE is really bad! I also really wanted to show that I am going to review both good and bad movies on here just to show how this industry works, and what was green lighted. Sometimes, you get masterpieces, and other times you get crap like Max Magician and the Legend of the STUPID STUPID fairly pretty pretty world, Home of the AGHHHH Dagda villain! Avoid this movie like your life depended on it. Some of you are going to watch it anyway. Well guess what, it's your funeral!

OVERALL Well you should by now right? This movie sucks!
RATING 0.125/10 Yeah that's right I used a decimal

Tune in next time where I promise I will review a critically acclaimed movie! Thanks for tuning in!